“The problem is that my parents want to designate me as their power of attorney, for both health care and financial decisions, since I live in their community. Unfortunately, my siblings feel slighted.”
The reader who posed this scenario is not alone in facing siblings who live far away but feel like they are not being included in their parent’s plans. For this family, one sibling lives 500 miles away and another lives 800 miles in the opposite direction. The one daughter who lives in the same community is the logical choice for power of attorney. What can be done?
According to the Faribault Daily News article “Attorney can smooth path for families making legal plans,” the problem likely has its roots in sibling rivalry, since it’s an emotional response to a sensible decision.
The parent’s foresight in updating their estate plan and related legal documents is to be congratulated. The one adult child who lives in their community is the best choice for power of attorney for medical and financial decisions, so they can quickly handle an emergency situation.
The parents have assigned the other two adult children as secondary POAs and everyone has already been informed that they will all receive equal shares in the estate. The out-of-town siblings should be happy at how fairly and expeditiously their parents are taking care of in these matters.
Adults need someone to be named to handle health care and financial decisions, if they become incapacitated and need someone else to make decisions. Having a POA puts others in place to take over any tasks. Having a secondary POA designates someone to step in, if the primary is unable to act.
When someone choses a POA because they don’t want to hurt any feelings, the result is often disastrous.
Some states also allow what is known as a “co-agent.” so that decisions are made together. But in an emergency, if the other person is not immediately present and time is an issue, this can lead to critical situations being unresolved.
One way to soften this kind of situation is to have the entire family meet with the estate planning attorney in a family meeting. With a professional who is not emotionally tied to the family dynamics, decisions can be explained, and cooler heads may prevail.
If you’ve been putting off making decisions about your estate plan because of worries about hurt feelings, make an appointment to meet with an estate planning attorney and discuss speak a family meeting. There are few scenarios that experienced estate planning attorneys haven’t seen. They will know how to handle it best, so that your plan is completed, your family is protected and hurt feelings are soothed.
Reference: Faribault Daily News (August 28, 2018) “Attorney can smooth path for families making legal plans”
“問題是,由於我住在父母的社區,他們希望將我指定為他們的醫療保健和財務決策的代理人。不幸的是,我的兄弟姐妹感到被忽略。”
提出這種情況的讀者並不是唯一一個有居住在遠方的兄弟姐妹,因為他們覺得沒有被納入在父母的計劃中,而感到受忽略。對於這個家庭來說,一個子女住在500英里外,另一個住在800英里的相反方向。住在同一社區的女兒是授權書代理人的合理選擇。還有些什麼可以做?
根據法裡博日報的文章 “Attorney can smooth path for families making legal plans,” (律師可以為家庭製定法律計劃) 這個問題可能源於兄弟姐妹之間的競爭,因為這是對明智決定的情緒反應。
要祝賀父母及時更新其資產計劃及相關法律文件。和父母一起生活在社區中成年子女是獲得醫療和經濟決策授權的最佳選擇,因此他們可以快速處理緊急情況。
父母已將另外兩名成年子女分配為後備代理人,並且每個人都已被告知他們將全部獲得遺產的平等份額。外地的兄弟姐妹應該對他們的父母公平地和迅速地處理這些問題感到高興。
成人需要有人來處理醫療保健和財務決策,如果他們變得無行動能力並需要其他人做出決定。授權書可以讓其他人接管任何工作。如果主要代理人無法採取行動,則後備代理人可補上。
代理人的決定是基於不想傷害別人的感情,結果往往是很嚴重的。
一些州還允許所謂的“共同代理人”,他們要一起做出決策。但在緊急情況下,如果另一個代理人沒有立即出現並且時間緊迫,這可能導致危急情況無法解決。
緩解這種情況的一種方法是讓所有家人與資產規劃律師見面。如果專業人士在情感上並沒有參與家庭糾紛,那麼就可以解釋決策,而人們的情緒便會冷靜下來。
如果您因為擔心傷害感情而一直在推遲對您的資產計劃做出決定,請預約與資產規劃律師會面。有經驗豐富的資產規劃律師見過各種場面。他們將知道如何最好地處理,以便您的計劃完成,幫助您的家人受到保護,受傷害的感情得到安慰。
參考: Faribault Daily News (August 28, 2018) “Attorney can smooth path for families making legal plans”