“When all is well, it’s difficult to convince mom, dad, a partner or other loved one to plan for the future. The alternative is much worse, because it means facing decisions during a crisis.”
We always think there will be time to plan for assisted living, until something happens and then we are facing an emergency. When a loved one is discharged from the hospital and can’t return home, there’s little or no time to find the right place for them to live. As Next Avenue advises in the article “Planning Ahead for Assisted Living,” don’t wait for the emergency.
Many people deal with assisted living this way. Adult children uproot their lives and relocate to be near their aging parents. Spouses feel helpless when their husbands or wives refuse to even consider moving to a facility, yet they are not safe at home.
The senior often pushes back against leaving their home, which is understandable. However, when illness or aging takes a toll, it’s just a matter of time before they understand, usually the hard way.
One woman was the very model of aging-in-place, until turning 85. Then illnesses and a chronic condition started making it hard for her to move around. When she was taken to the hospital, she had to take a clear look at her situation. It was distressing, but she realized she had to make a change.
By 2030, the number of Americans age 65 and older is expected to increase dramatically, and for the first time in our country’s history, the number of older Americans will be higher than the number of children.
We may not know what life has in store for us. However, we can plan ahead.
Some people start looking at CCRCs–Continuing Care Retirement Communities. These are facilities that include independent living, assisted living and nursing home care, all on the same property. Some have secured memory care for those living with dementia.
Research the costs, policies, and programs of the long-term facilities you may be considering. There are different services offered. Assisted living facilities are state-licensed housing communities that offer residents a range of services. They usually do not offer medical care. A skilled nursing facility/nursing home will have medical services.
Services in assisted living communities vary. Some offer meals and help with bathing, dressing and mobility, medication management, education and social activities. They may be large or small, with residential homes, where three or four residents live with a paid caregiver. Those are known as “adult foster homes.” Others are “assisted living homes,” which usually have 10 or so residents. In these facilities, the caretakers don’t live in the house, but 24-hour care is provided.
Here are some questions to ask, when visiting assisted living communities:
- Is the facility clean? Does it smell?
- What is the culture and atmosphere of the place?
- Are the residents and employees smiling, or does everyone look downcast?
It is recommended that people visit the facility several times, at different times, to get a better sense of the facility. You should also eat in the dining room a few times. Are people friendly? How is the quality of the food? Set up a meeting with the people who run the facility and your family members.
Don’t dismiss the concerns of your loved ones when visiting facilities. They need to be comfortable, and it’s very important for them to have a voice in making this decision.
Reference: Next Avenue (Jan. 21, 2019) “Planning Ahead for Assisted Living”