Fong Law Group

Add This to Your New Year’s Resolutions

“It’s one of the most important conversations that none of us want to have.”

The conversation with loved ones about growing older and the chances that we or our spouses are going to need help with the activities of daily living, is something that needs to be talked about before being faced with that situation. It’s difficult at best, says The Des Moines Register in the article “In 2019, resolve to have a difficult conversation,” but very necessary.

The person who is contemplating needing help, may want to start the conversation but the person who may be called on to help may find it too difficult to consider. Who wants to think about their parents getting frail and needing help going to the bathroom? No one.

The person who is starting to feel the impact of aging, may already be aware of some limitations. However, talking with their children or potential caregivers, may change the conversation from “someday” to “soon.” The loss of independence is one of the big milestones, just as gaining independence is a milestone earlier in life. That’s a hard thing to accept for both sides.

Those who have lived through this process of needing to become caregivers, say that it would have been easier, if they would have known what their loved ones wanted. So, would have been knowing what kind of help their loved ones could afford. It’s better to have time to research available resources in advance, rather than operating in crisis mode.

This is what your conversations need to address:

• Medications, physical health, emotional well-being and health care providers
• Their wishes, if their health declines slowly or rapidly. Do they want to stay at home? Who would they want to help with daily care?
• Finances: Can they afford to pay for care at home? Has any Medicaid planning been done? What government programs are they eligible for? Do they have a CPA or financial advisor?
• Estate plan: Where is their Last Will and Testament? Is there a Power of Attorney, Living Will or Medical Directive in place? Who is their estate planning attorney?
• Documents, including birth certificates, Social Security, insurance cards, safe deposit box keys, computer passwords, etc.

We prefer to think we’ll live a long healthy life and then die peacefully in our sleep, with no advance notice. However, that is not what happens to most Americans. Seven out of 10 people over age 65 will need help from others at some point, and most will need it for at least three years. Therefore, make having this conversation part of your New Year’s resolutions. When the time comes, you and your caregivers will be glad that you did.

Reference: The Des Moines Register (Dec. 19, 2018) “In 2019, resolve to have a difficult conversation”

Lessen the Stress of Becoming Widowed

“It is no surprise that dealing with the emotional impact of the death of a spouse is overwhelming. For many widows, handling the financial implications of her husband’s death may be too much to bear. However, that is what most widows must do.”

A recent study from Merrill Lynch and Age Wave on widowhood shows that a mere 14% of 3,300 respondents said they were making financial decisions on their own, before their spouses passed away. That is a very low number of women in charge of their financial lives as married women, says Press & Guide in the article “Financial planning can help ease impact, stress of widowhood, study shows.”

Widows are tackling major challenges in the days and weeks after the loss of a loved one. That includes everything from funeral costs, mortgage or rent payments, other costs of running a household and for many, medical costs. With nearly half of those in the study reporting a household income drop of 50% or more after the death of a spouse, that is an enormous burden to take on during a time of great grief and upheaval.

The women are also facing the tasks of juggling Social Security, pensions, life insurance and making sure that their late spouse’s retirement accounts are all correctly transferred into their names.

There is often a lack of preparation for this situation. Many are simply not prepared for how complicated it is to deal with the loss of a spouse.

The study reports that couples who plan for this situation, have their level of worry cut in half. Only 38% of the widows in the study who had conducted financial planning, worried about not being able to support themselves immediately after the death of their spouse. That compares to 64% of widows who had not planned at all.

Widowers (men whose wives have passed) face unique challenges. If their wives pass first, they may be faced with taking on their own caregiving. Statistically, women outlive men, so the widowers have to adjust to losing a caregiver. There may be new financial costs they would not have had to bear, if their wives were still alive.

The first step: meet with an estate planning attorney. Make sure that a will and power of attorney are created, along with any other necessary planning documents. Both spouses should be familiar with all accounts, and both names should be on the accounts and all deeds. Don’t forget to organize all important papers in a file drawer at home or in a safe deposit box. Know where everything is and how to access it.

Having long-term care insurance in place and making sure there are assets available for caregiving, should be a part of everyone’s plan for longevity. Even if you don’t need home health care or to live in an assisted living facility, someone will eventually need to provide some level of care.

Reference: Press & Guide (Nov. 19, 2018) “Financial planning can help ease impact, stress of widowhood, study shows”

A Cautionary Tale of Alleged Elder Abuse

“Mary Weiss lost her son, while he was enrolled in a controversial drug study at the University of Minnesota. The case drew worldwide attention. Weiss is now facing the loss of her home and retirement savings, after being taken advantage of by someone she trusted, according to police.”

This is a sad story that illustrates how even the smartest person can be vulnerable and preyed upon by someone they know and trust. Mary Weiss has endured the violent death of her son, four strokes and a heart attack, says Fox 9 in its report titled “Woman, who helped change research protocols at U of M, allegedly loses savings to caregiver.”

The person she depended on throughout it all, is the one who is suspected of taking advantage of her trusting nature. She says she was financially ruined and her nest egg of $150,000 is gone. Debt from credit cards and loans taken out in her name without her consent is mounting.

Weiss gained international attention for her battle with the University of Minnesota researchers who ran a research study of a psychiatric drug. Her son took his own life, while enrolled in the study. Because of her fight, the University made a number of changes to its research programs.

The man she believes has ripped her off, stood by her during that battle, speaking to reporters on her behalf. However, now he has been charged with one count of theft by swindle by the Washington County Attorney, following an investigation by the Cottage Grove Police Department.

Howard lived with Weiss, although they were not romantically involved, for 10 years and had become her caregiver. She had suffered a series of strokes and gave him power of attorney over her financial matters.

Weiss knew that Howard had a record, including a theft by swindle conviction, but she never thought he would do something bad to her.

It was Weiss’ niece who discovered the problem this past spring, when she was going through a year’s worth of bank statements. ATM withdrawals, lottery ticket purchases, loans and credit cards were all done in her name. Washington County Human Services did a separate investigation and notified Weiss that an allegation of financial exploitation had been substantiated.

Howard denies taking anything without Weiss’ consent.

Weiss is currently living in a nursing home and is recovering from a fall. She said that she would like to return to her townhome but is not sure she will be able to afford to do that. She wants others to understand that this can happen to anyone, even with full control of their senses and no dementia.

Elder financial abuse is a growing problem, as the number of seniors rises. Having a family member who is actively involved and looking out for aging family members is one of several ways to prevent elder abuse from a stranger. However, it is often a family member who is committing the crime.

Reference: Fox 9 (Oct. 22, 2018) “Woman, who helped change research protocols at U of M, allegedly loses savings to caregiver”

A Cautionary Tale of Alleged Elder Abuse

“Mary Weiss lost her son, while he was enrolled in a controversial drug study at the University of Minnesota. The case drew worldwide attention. Weiss is now facing the loss of her home and retirement savings, after being taken advantage of by someone she trusted, according to police.”

This is a sad story that illustrates how even the smartest person can be vulnerable and preyed upon by someone they know and trust. Mary Weiss has endured the violent death of her son, four strokes and a heart attack, says Fox 9 in its report titled “Woman, who helped change research protocols at U of M, allegedly loses savings to caregiver.”

The person she depended on throughout it all, is the one who is suspected of taking advantage of her trusting nature. She says she was financially ruined and her nest egg of $150,000 is gone. Debt from credit cards and loans taken out in her name without her consent is mounting.

Weiss gained international attention for her battle with the University of Minnesota researchers who ran a research study of a psychiatric drug. Her son took his own life, while enrolled in the study. Because of her fight, the University made a number of changes to its research programs.

The man she believes has ripped her off, stood by her during that battle, speaking to reporters on her behalf. However, now he has been charged with one count of theft by swindle by the Washington County Attorney, following an investigation by the Cottage Grove Police Department.

Howard lived with Weiss, although they were not romantically involved, for 10 years and had become her caregiver. She had suffered a series of strokes and gave him power of attorney over her financial matters.

Weiss knew that Howard had a record, including a theft by swindle conviction, but she never thought he would do something bad to her.

It was Weiss’ niece who discovered the problem this past spring, when she was going through a year’s worth of bank statements. ATM withdrawals, lottery ticket purchases, loans and credit cards were all done in her name. Washington County Human Services did a separate investigation and notified Weiss that an allegation of financial exploitation had been substantiated.

Howard denies taking anything without Weiss’ consent.

Weiss is currently living in a nursing home and is recovering from a fall. She said that she would like to return to her townhome but is not sure she will be able to afford to do that. She wants others to understand that this can happen to anyone, even with full control of their senses and no dementia.

Elder financial abuse is a growing problem, as the number of seniors rises. Having a family member who is actively involved and looking out for aging family members is one of several ways to prevent elder abuse from a stranger. However, it is often a family member who is committing the crime.

Reference: Fox 9 (Oct. 22, 2018) “Woman, who helped change research protocols at U of M, allegedly loses savings to caregiver”

How to Prevent Financial Elder Abuse 如何防止老人經濟虐待 (中英對照)

“High-profile charges of financial exploitation raise troubling questions. Here’s how to protect yourself and your family.”

Stories of two high-profile elderly Americans have shone a harsh light on the issue of financial elder abuse. However, the rich and famous are not the only ones who are vulnerable. All families need to know what they can do to protect their loved ones, says AARP in the article “7 Ways to Prevent Financial Elder Abuse.”

Stan Lee is a legend, and not just among comic book fans. The 95-year old creator of Spider-Man and many other superheroes has been enmeshed in a legal tangle that includes charges that a memorabilia collector is attempting to isolate Lee in order to gain control of his fortune, which is estimated at $50 million. A Los Angeles court has issued a temporary restraining order against the collector, who says the charges are false.

An American hero, Buzz Aldrin, is battling with his two younger children, accusing them of trying to get control of his estate by saying he has dementia. He sued his own children in court. They deny doing anything wrong and say his memory loss and increasing confusion is to blame.

Experts believe these kinds of cases will grow as America ages and will continue to remain largely unreported, because most families don’t want to report or prosecute these crimes. Ninety percent of the perpetrators are family members or other people the victim knows well, including caretakers and neighbors. As we get older, we’re not as savvy about finances and sharp operators take advantage of this.

Here’s how you can protect yourself and your aging family members:

• Before anything happens, make a plan that includes power of attorney and heath care directives.
• Stay connected with loved ones through regular visits or phone calls. Video chatting is also good.
• Develop a relationship with your parent’s caregiver. Make sure that she knows you are involved.
• Become a “trusted contact” and monitor banking and investment activities.
• Sign up for a service that tracks financial activity and notifies you of any unusual withdrawals or changes in spending habits.
• Set up direct deposit for checks that arrive regularly, so they won’t have to cash them or ask someone else to cash them.
• Don’t sign any document that you don’t understand and don’t be rushed into signing anything.

Having to keep your guard up to protect yourself or a family member, is not how we like to think of our golden years. However, unfortunately it is necessary.

Speak with an estate planning attorney to create an estate plan, including a last will and testament, so your assets or those of your family member are also protected.

Reference: AARP Bulletin (Sep. 2018) “7 Ways to Prevent Financial Elder Abuse”

“有關財務虐待的高姿態指控引發令人困擾的問題。以下是保護自己和家人的方法。”

兩位備受矚目的美國老人的故事在老人經濟虐待問題上引起熱烈迴響。然而，並不是只有富人和名人容易受到傷害。 AARP在“7 Ways to Prevent Financial Elder Abuse.”一文中說，所有家庭都需要知道他們該採取哪些措施來保護親人。

Stan Lee 是一個傳奇, 而且這不僅限於漫畫迷。這位95歲的蜘蛛俠和其他超級英雄的創造者陷入了法律糾紛之中，其中包括指控一位收藏家企圖孤立Stan Lee以控制他估計價值5000萬美元的財產。洛杉磯法院已經對這收藏家發出了一項臨時限制令，儘管收藏家說此指控不真實。

一位美國英雄Buzz Aldrin正在與他的兩個較小的子女打官司，指控他們試圖通過說他患有老年癡呆症來控制他的資產。他在法庭上起訴自己的子女。他的子女說他們並沒有做錯什麼，並指責因他的喪失記憶而引起混亂。

專家們認為，隨著美國人口老化，這類案件將會不斷增加，並且將繼續保持大幅度的不舉報，因為大多數家庭不想舉報或起訴這些惡行。百分之九十的肇事者均是家庭成員或受害者親人，看護和鄰居。隨著年老，我們對財務狀況並不靈敏，而敏銳的騙徒會利用這一點。

以下是保護自己和老年家庭成員的方法：

• 在發生任何事情之前，制定一份包含財務授權書和醫療授權書的計劃。
• 通過定期探訪或電話與家人保持聯繫。視頻聊天也很好。
• 與照顧父母的人建立關係。確保她知道你參與其中。
• 成為“值得信賴的聯繫人”並監控銀行和投資活動。
• 註冊跟踪財務活動的服務，如有任何異常提款或消費習慣的變化都可以獲得通知。
• 為定期收到的支票設立直接存款，這樣就不用親自去兌現或要求他人幫忙兌現。
• 不要簽署任何您不理解的文件，也不要急於簽任何文件。

必須保持警惕以保護自己或家人，這可能不是我們想像的黃金歲月。然而，不幸是這是必需的。

與資產規劃律師聯繫，制定資產計劃，包括遺囑，以便您的資產或您家人的資產也受到保護。

參考:AARP Bulletin (Sep. 2018) “7 Ways to Prevent Financial Elder Abuse”

No Kids? You Need a Plan for Aging

“Choosing an assisted living facility can be frightening prospect for anyone.  However, the fear can be greater for people with no kids to help them through the process.”

When you don’t have kids or close family members, making decisions about an assisted living facility can be lonely and daunting, often leading people to delay planning. For many people, says Financial Planning in a recent article “Planning challenge: aging clients, no kids, assisted living required,” just the thought of moving into an assisted living facility, means they are entering a dark tunnel or, as some say, heading into God’s waiting room.

The challenge is often the same for people whose adult children live far away or those who are not involved with their family. In coming decades, more Americans will find themselves in a similar situation, according to a 2013 study by AARP’s Public Policy Institute.

While most elderly people receive some care from family members, the number of those who are able and willing to help, is not likely to keep pace with increasing demand, the study said.

In 2010, the caregiver support ratio was more than seven potential caregivers for each person in the high-risk years of 80 and up. But by 2030, this ratio is projected to drop to 4 to 1, and will fall even further in 2050, when the last group of baby boomers enters the later years of life.

What can be done?

Start planning early, as early as 65. The earlier you begin examining options for assisted living, visiting facilities and getting to know what you want and don’t want, the better you’ll be able to decide, when the time comes.

Have your estate plan in place. Many facilities require potential residents to be able to demonstrate that their estate plan is done, and all their documents are in order.

What amenities do you want to live near? For some people, being able to visit museums and cultural offerings is an important part of their lifestyle. Others require being closer to established healthcare facilities. Know what matters now and what will matter 10 years from now.

Meet the people who work at the facility. Don’t just talk to the sales staff. Talk to the people in the residence, those who work in the cafeterias, etc. The sales staff will paint one picture.  However, those who work there, are the people you will be dealing with on a daily basis.

Consider buying in before you move in. If the facility has a long waiting list, it may make sense for you to preserve a spot on the waiting list for when you have to move in. Make sure to do all your financial diligence to be sure the deposit is refundable and to be guaranteed to be returned.

Think positive. Having kids can be a double-edged sword. It’s great to have family.  However, with no kids, you are free to go where you wish, with no kids doing battle over where or how Mom or Dad should live.

Reference: Financial Planning (Aug. 8, 2018) “Planning challenge: aging clients, no kids, assisted living required”