Fong Law Group

Aging Care: 6 Tips for Caring for Elderly Parents

Many adult children wonder what their aging parents may need and how can they can help provide it for them.

You may constantly worry about your parents or other older loved ones, especially if you live far away from them. You can, however, take some simple steps to ensure your parents are safe as they age.

Tip No. 1: Recognize the Risks Older Adults Face

Knowing the risks seniors face can help you begin an action plan for your parents. It may be difficult for some older adults to complete tasks they could do before with ease, particularly if they live alone. Examples of those tasks can include:

• Taking medication correctly and on time
• Remembering things, keeping up conversation, or multitasking
• Getting help in a medical emergency, such as a fall
• Eating healthfully
• Moving safely around their home

Being aware of these common concerns can be an important first step in doing everything you can to protect your parents as they age.

Tip No. 2: Ensure Medication Compliance

If your parents have health conditions that require them to take medication regularly, you should take time to make sure they are adhering to their prescription instructions. It may be a good idea to routinely review the medications your parents take, the name of the medications, and any potential side effects.

You may consider creating a medication schedule that you can both follow, so that you (or a home care provider) can check in and confirm your loved one is remembering to take medications when necessary.

Tip No. 3: Prepare for Cognitive Decline

Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia affect more than 5 million adults aged 65 and older, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Keep your parents safe by understanding their current cognitive abilities and any risks they may face for future decline.

Consider setting up a routine for your parents’ day-to-day lives. This might include social engagement and spending time with you and other family members, which may become even more crucial if their cognitive health has deteriorated.

Tip No. 4: Equip Aging Parents for Medical Emergencies

Older adults that live alone are vulnerable to falls and other medical emergencies. If you live out of state, you may have concerns about your parents being able to act quickly in ensuring they get emergency medical attention when they need it.

To help your parents respond to emergencies, consider using a medical alert system. With a medical alert system, your parents will have emergency assistance at the push of a button. Many different companies offer this type of service. An online search can help you narrow it down.

Tip No. 5: Plan for Meals

Seniors, especially those that live with memory issues, may not eat regularly. Without adequate nutrition, older adults may fall ill, or any current condition may worsen. Many seniors across the United States are food insecure. Fortunately, there are certain Medicare Advantage grocery benefit programs as well as other free or inexpensive meal delivery services, such as Meals on Wheels, that deliver nutritious meals to seniors.

Tip No. 6: Prevent Household Injury

Household injury is a major risk for seniors, especially those who live alone. You should do a sweep of your parent’s home and remove all potential hazards, including unsecured electrical cords, household products and chemicals, or loose rugs. Fix broken handrails on staircases, install grab bars in bathtubs, and ensure there is adequate lighting in their home. Taking each of these steps, and any others you see fit, can help avoid a preventable injury.

Hardest Time of Aging? Between Competence and Incompetence 年老的艱難時期？在有能力與無能之間 (中英對照)

“An example would be a patriarch who is used to being in charge. He's stubborn. He never wants help with anything. However, you notice that he is making some risky choices with money that just don't make sense to you.”

This is one of the toughest parts of watching parents age: as they move, slowly but steadily, from being the reliable, responsible, and wise people you always knew, to becoming less mentally capable. It’s a slow process. Every time you think they have gone beyond the point of being able to take care of themselves, they prove you wrong.

Are they incompetent, from a legal standpoint? No, not yet. However, their decisions, especially those regarding money or who they chose as new friends, are starting to worry you. That’s the issue addressed in “Aging Parents at The In-Between Stage: Partially Competent and Partially Not” from Forbes.

In this example, the aging parent presents well to the outside world, socializes well and seems to have all his faculties. The problem is, the children who know him see changes and worry for what might happen in the near future. Their father had always handled his own finances, and now he’s giving money away to anyone who asks for it. He is going through his accounts at a surprising rate, unlike his lifetime behavior of being an extremely careful money manager.

The first step for this family: a meeting with all the adult children and the estate attorney. They start with a review of the legal documents that had been prepared previously by the attorney. A Durable Power of Attorney had been put in place, when the oldest child had been appointed as his agent, with unrestricted powers. She had the legal authority to take over the management of her father’s accounts.

By using the Durable Power of Attorney, she was able to gain online access to all her father’s accounts to see what was actually going on. It was worse than the family expected. He had given money away to charities and to strangers. Armed with this information, she had to speak with her father. He bristled, but she persisted, knowing that she had the legal right to do this and the support of her siblings.

She suggested that she visit him to help out. It took several weeks of suggesting it, but at last he relented. On his desk, she found collection notices and a cancellation notice from his car insurance company for failure to make payments. By presenting the prospect of not being able to drive because of a lack of insurance, she got his attention to the seriousness of the matter.

Next, his assets were moved out of accounts where he had access. He continued to give away his money, but she controlled how much damage he could do.

This family was able to protect their father from a free-fall into poverty and dependency, because proper estate planning had been done well in advance. They worked together to address the problem and had the help and advice of an estate planning attorney. This is what good estate planning looks like.

Reference: Forbes (Dec. 3, 2018) “Aging Parents at The In-Between Stage: Partially Competent and Partially Not”

“有一個例子, 一位慣於掌管的家長。他很固執。他從不想要任何幫助。但是，你注意到他正在使用金錢做出一些不合理的冒險選擇。”

這是看著父母年邁其中一個令人困擾的地方：看到他們的行動變得緩慢，那個從前可靠，有負任和聰明的人，精神能力下降。這是一個漫長過程。每當你認為他們已經越過了照顧自己能力的臨界點，他們就會證明你錯了。

從法律角度來看，他們不能自理了嗎？還不是。然而，他們的決定，特別是關於金錢或他們選擇誰成為新朋友，都會開始讓你擔心。這是Forbes於 文章 “Aging Parents at The In-Between Stage: Partially Competent and Partially Not” 提出的問題。

在這個例子中，年邁的父母在外邊表現很好，社交很好，似乎他們具備所有能力。問題是，熟識他們的子女會看到變化並擔心在不久的將來會發生一些事情。他們的父親總是自己來處理財務，現在他把錢給那些向他要錢的人。他正以驚人的速度透支他的賬戶，這與他一生非常謹慎理財的行為完全不同。

這個家庭應踏出第一步：所有成年子女和資產規劃律師開會。首先是審查律師以往所準備的法律文件。當最大的子女被任命為他的代理人時，而其權力不受限制，她便有合法權力接管父親的賬戶。這是財務授權書的作用。

通過使用財務授權書，她能夠於網絡上取得她父親的所有帳戶的權限，以查看實際情況。這可比家人想像的要糟糕。他把錢捐給了慈善機構和陌生人。得知這件事後，她只好跟她父親談。她父親怒不可遏，但她堅持，她有合法權利做這件事並得到兄弟姐妹的支持。

她建議去探望他並幫助他。花了幾個星期勸解，最後他心軟了。在他的辦公桌上，她發現追債通知和汽車保險公司因他未能付款所發的取消通知。她知道將來她父親因沒有汽車保險而無法開車，她令父親開始關注事情的嚴重性。

接著，他的資產被移出了他有權限的帳戶。即使他繼續送錢給別人，她還可控制損害程度。

這個家庭能夠保護他們的父親免於陷入貧困和依賴是因為提前完成了適當的資產規劃。他們共同努力解決問題，並得到了資產規劃律師的幫助和建議。這就是良好的資產規劃。

參考: Forbes (Dec. 3, 2018) “Aging Parents at The In-Between Stage: Partially Competent and Partially Not”